Okay, not really.
A little preface: I tend to be a look-for-the-best-in-everything type person. That ability has evolved over the years until it is almost automatic.
When I thought about my most impactful life experiences, though, I my went straight to all the not-so-great scenarios that made me withdraw into myself.
After I had written down three or four not-nice things, I realized that I hadn’t included a single positive one. I thought it odd that was my initial orientation.
I decided that wasn’t a full picture of who I am, so I went back and added equally positive things that happened as well.
I noticed that the positive and negative have provided a sort of seesaw-balance to my life. The ups and downs also turn me inward and pull me outward and offer the lessons I need to go even higher (while raising the low points as well).
For example, when I was young (maybe sixth grade) I played piano at a local talent show. It was held in the town’s theater and it was full. The folks there were a little rowdy, but there was no way to know that was going to happen. When I went out to play my little classical musical piece, I was stunned to hear the whole theater fill up with the sound of the crowd booing me.
What made it more shocking was that I played the music perfectly. I somehow got through it all and stepped off stage into the wings. My mom and her brother were emceeing for the event, so I stood there, in the semi-darkness of the stage’s sideline, wondering what had just happened.
It was years before I was willing to perform in front of an audience again. But, that became one of my positive experiences. My mom told me our church was having a talent show with some of the other branches of the church and she suggested that I play for it. I was hesitant, and hella nervous, but I did it. No one booed. In fact, I felt a magic in the moment. While my hands stretched and played the keys, my spirit expanded throughout the room as if riding the vibration of sound.
I’ve played for audiences lots of times since then. It’s experiences like that which keep me wanting to stretch myself further. Let’s go.