Today was the first time I didn’t manage to complete my exercise until much later in the day. As I write this blog entry, it is after 9:00 p.m. I’ve noticed this has been a challenge with a lot of my passion projects. With this blog, I’ve decided to just make myself slog through the exercise even though that’s not a perfect way to do this.
After doing the Day 4 exercise yesterday, I realized that entering my answers into a spreadsheet really works for me. I haven’t done any coloring or drawing so far because those things feel like more work in my current state of mind. It’s funny how doodling can feel like play sometimes and like work at other times. I think what makes it feel like work is when my brain is in convergent thinking mode—executing tasks and solving problems—and it takes more mental effort to shift into divergent thinking mode, which is more exploratory and idea-generating. These two modes don’t operate simultaneously, so switching between them requires intentional effort and energy.
This is reinforcing the idea that I might need to tailor my approach to the exercises based on the day of the week and time of day.
In terms of the content of Day 5, I noticed that the dots are starting to connect more automatically between my formative childhood experiences and the limiting beliefs that have developed. One thing I might like a little better in future cycles—and perhaps even later in this one—is an easy way to jot down memories as they come to me. There are other similar processes I’ve used in the past where I’ve captured negative experiences like flies in a jar and used them to generate insights about my inner wiring.
In all honesty, I definitely remember there being an exercise later on in the 30-day cycle where we do something like this, but I don’t remember too terribly much about what Sheila and I wrote in the later parts. So I’ve tried not to jump too far ahead or add ideas I think are new. Instead, I’m trying to follow the exercises as they’re written. I have a feeling that if I try to add new ideas, I’ll overwhelm myself—and I might also discover that the ideas aren’t new at all, but things I’ve already written and forgotten.
One of the joys of being a writer is that you constantly rediscover things you’ve already written—and forgotten!
