Today I’m becoming especially sensitive to the need to move quickly through this process and not take up a lot of time. But also, I want to do complete work because I’m noticing just how critically important the work I am doing is. Day 9 is not fun by design. Day 9 is about acknowledging what would feel better to ignore. I’m not surprised that my energy is weak around the Day 9 exercise. The nature of self-development work is such that we have to get brutally honest about the unhelpful patterns we’re stuck in if we want to shift toward better ones. We also have to admit that these patterns can feel good in the moment and give us a cheap payoff. If we weren’t getting anything out of making poor choices, we would already be making better ones.
Today I decided that I needed a way to anchor myself in the reality of the pros and cons and the trade-off I am making—and more importantly, the fact that I am free to choose something different. As I reflected on my bad habits during the exercise, I realized I’m sitting on a gold mine—powerful resources I could use to motivate people and make the world better. An image came to me: a king who has abandoned his throne—or a magician who refuses to lift the wand. Both speak to the same truth: neglecting my power and purpose.
Years back I remember reading a story about the Mad King, as depicted in a book called The Master Game by Robert DeRopp. The basic idea is a king who lives in the dungeon and refuses to enter his own palace. He has gone mad and believes that the dungeon is the palace. Meanwhile, the kingdom is in chaos because no one is ruling. The one who has been called to rule has refused to accept the calling. Refusal of the call is a defining element of the hero’s journey. By design, we are surrounded with a world that will make us increasingly uncomfortable the longer we persist in refusing our calling.
This reflection led me to another sobering truth: sooner or later, the clock will run out—and the window to act will close. I am thinking about ways to remind myself that I cannot put off answering the call forever. There will come a point when the responsibility I’ve been offered will pass to someone else—and missing that moment will likely hurt more than facing it now. In many ways, there have been opportunities that have already passed. But while I am still alive, I have to remain focused on what is not too late to do. I am hopeful that this 30-day process will continue to spur me forward as it has been.
Just for fun: I asked ChatGPT to re-run the image because the first version made the chair and clock tower look too neat and orderly. I still wasn’t satisfied with the second attempt. The addition of the crow was a nicer touch.
