Today I started exploring what a fast-track strategy might look like for becoming more aware of my unconscious habits. As directed by the exercise, I started to break down four specific areas: character traits, habits, language, and body movement. I wanted to be able to have a way to remind myself of the more elusive and unconscious patterns. There’s plenty that I already know how to recognize, and I’m thinking for the habits that I recognize the most readily, the goal is to write them down as often as possible so that I make them more conscious. As of writing this blog post, I haven’t yet started the process.
I asked ChatGPT to help me identify the strategy for noticing the patterns. With so many patterns identified over the past few days, trying to monitor them all felt like an exercise in futility. So I asked ChatGPT to pick out five habits based on the heaviest weight and the deepest unconscious rooted pattern that it was able to pick out from all of the information I shared with it. ChatGPT came up with an interesting concept of developing five visual images to put in front of me. So I thought I might use the same image as a segue into creating a concept illustration for the blog post. ChatGPT came up with a marvelously grotesque set of images corresponding to five personas or five aspects of my default negative personality, which I’ll share below (along with their meanings underneath).
- The Smiling Glutton
A jolly, bulbous figure with cartoonishly small legs and a perpetually overflowing plate fused to its belly. Its eyes are spiraled like hypnotic candy swirls. Every time it takes a bite, the food reappears.
Grotesque humor: The blissful absurdity of endless consumption. Like a cursed cartoon character who can’t stop eating even if he wants to.
Dark twist: Beneath the plate, unseen by him, his own hands are shackled to the table. - The Prize Refuser
A sulking child-king wearing a dented paper crown, scowling proudly as he kicks away a box wrapped in golden ribbon—inside the box, a glowing heart pulses visibly. Behind his back, his hand reaches toward it.
Grotesque humor: A bratty gremlin-king who sabotages his own happiness but insists it’s all part of the plan.
Dark twist: Every time he refuses a gift, another tear appears in the heart’s glow. - The Cloud Whisperer
A foggy, half-translucent figure with negative words stitched into its skin like patches. It wears an old-timey suit that’s a few sizes too big, slumping as if trying to disappear. One hand clutches a sign that says, “Don’t look at me,” the other holds a megaphone pointed at itself.
Grotesque humor: It’s a ghost of a motivational speaker—but only for discouragement.
Dark twist: It’s perched on a pile of golden trophies it never claimed. - The Looping Flame
A figure made of clock hands and broken glass, torso flickering with a contained fire. A mouth sewn shut with red thread, eyes full of fury but locked inward. On its back, a backpack labeled “Old Fights,” with smoke pouring out.
Grotesque humor: A rage furnace that only heats itself. Like a tragic Looney Tunes villain trapped in its own fuel loop.
Dark twist: The backpack’s smoke chokes nearby totems, dimming their colors. - The Empty Listener
A puppet with a gramophone horn for an ear and a spinning beach ball where its brain should be. When people speak near it, the horn turns the wrong way. Its chest cavity opens like a door to reveal a cozy recliner and TV showing static.
Grotesque humor: It’s a sentient do-not-disturb sign with big “I’m listening!” energy… while totally checked out.
Dark twist: The static on the TV occasionally flickers into clear images of loved ones trying to reach it.
I’ve already printed out the image, as you’ll see on this blog post. Looking forward to seeing how the visual reminder might help me to be more consciously aware of the patterns. Also looking forward to seeing how often I can catch and interrupt the old behaviors in the next 24 hours. I’m also somewhat amused by seeing how the AI engine incorporated some of the visual images that it suggested in its own proposal but left out some elements. I noticed it still struggles to visually interpret some of the concepts, though the AI engine continues to evolve. I didn’t really have time to keep going back over more successive iterations on the image, so I let some of the flaws go, but I think I may develop this further in the future.