If I ponder my fear, a lot of it doesn’t hold much of weight any longer. I have pushed myself and survived things that I wouldn’t have guessed I could do.
Still, the one thing that I have a hard time budging is my distrust of people. My fear and expectation is that they will let me down or betray me in some way. It is why so much of what I do I try to keep at a level where I can manage it without relying on others too much.
Obviously, there are exceptions to this. And, I don’t think that other people are necessarily malicious in letting me down or betraying me. We are all managing our lives in the best way that we can wherever we are.
This makes me look at my invented character in a different way. Have I created her to be intelligent and efficient? Or, just safe?
The experiment goes on…